Over the past few days I've been reflecting on starting this challenge and what it'll mean. There are challenges and hurdles I hadn't previously thought of. Yet I'm excited to begin. I'm ready to start and embrace what is to come.
At the same time, idols in my life are coming more and more to view. Almost everywhere I look I see something that has distracted me from communing with my God. Things I never had thought had a hold on my life... Worry. Money. Worry about money. Pleasing people. Not getting in trouble. At times things I want. Insecurities that prevent me from living my full potential. Plans that *I* want. Dreams. Busyness. Schedules. Needing another roommate. It all screams at me. And frankly, the past few days I've been listening more to those things than I have to the voice of the One who I should be listening to. I have been doing the talking...not the listening. And that needs to stop. Perhaps that is part of the challenge...slowing down enough to listen... How will I practically do this? Not sure yet. I often think as I write, so in a lot of ways this idea is as new to me as it is to those reading this.
So...as I prepare to begin...I realize just how far I am from perfect--and just how much I need God's grace. Life is stressful, empty, overwhelming, loud, scary, and...heavy...without the help of the LORD.
Perhaps this seems a bit off topic from the challenge itself, but it is where my heart is right now. I need to "cease striving and know that HE is God" (loosely Ps. 46:10a). This is not mine. Yet it is easy to let the thought that I have some control take over.
God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father.
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